Batman AI Script – Reworked by AI

Batman AI Script – Reworked by AI!

Batman AI Script – Bat One

BATMAN
INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE – NIGHT

The Batcave hums with computers. A waterfall crashes dramatically for no reason.

BATMAN stands beside the Batmobile, typing intensely at the Batcomputer.

He is sometimes Bruce Wayne.
He is sometimes Batman.
He is always orphan.

BATMAN
This city is safe now.
Crime is illegal again.

ALFRED enters, dignified as ever, holding a silver tray.

ALFRED
You’ve said that every Tuesday, sir.

BATMAN
And every Wednesday I am correct.

ALFRED
Very good, Mattress Wayne. I’ve prepared your supper. It’s bat-shaped chicken.

BATMAN
I only eat justice.

ALFRED
Then you will starve.

Suddenly — AN EXPLOSION. Dramatic smoke for aesthetic reasons.

THE JOKER and TWO-FACE step through the debris like they paid for it.

JOKER
Knock knock.

BATMAN
This is a cave.

TWO-FACE
We flipped a coin. It said “invade.”

BATMAN
No! It is Two-Face and… One-Face.

TWO-FACE
That’s not how math works.

BATMAN
Silence, lawyer-man.

Batman grabs Alfred and throws him at Two-Face.

ALFRED
I regret nothing.

Two-Face flips Alfred like a coin. Alfred spins perfectly in the air.

He lands gracefully.

TWO-FACE
Heads. I leave.

Two-Face shrugs and walks out through the hole in the wall.

Beat.

Batman AI Script – Bat Two

BATMAN
Good. Now it is just you and me, clown.

JOKER
You dress like a bat.

BATMAN
You dress like a birthday accident.

JOKER
Society is a joke.

BATMAN
Then I am the punchline.

JOKER
You drink water. I drink anarchy.

BATMAN
I drink bats. Like a bat would.

Beat.

Batman looks upward.

BATMAN
Mother. Father. Are you proud?

Silence.

BATMAN
They are still dead.

He fires a BATROCKET.

The Joker casually pulls out a rubber chicken. The rocket bounces off it.

JOKER
Classic poultry defense.

BATMAN
Impossible.

JOKER
I don’t follow rules. That’s my rule.

BATMAN
I follow one rule.

JOKER
What is it?

BATMAN
No killing.

Beat.

JOKER
That seems inconvenient.

BATMAN
It is.

Batman AI Script – Bat Three

Batman turns to Alfred.

BATMAN
Alfred. Prepare a Robin.

ALFRED
Very good, sir. Shall I preheat the oven?

BATMAN
Yes.

The Joker suddenly produces a brightly wrapped present.

JOKER
Happy Batday, Birthman.

Batman narrows his eyes.

BATMAN
It could be a bomb.

ALFRED
It is definitely a bomb.

Batman opens it anyway.

Inside: a coupon that reads:
“FREE PARENTS – ONE TIME USE.”

Expired.

Batman stares at it.

Silence.

The Joker giggles.

JOKER
Check the fine print.

Batman flips it over.

“Non-refundable. No exchanges. No pearls included.”

Batman’s voice lowers.

BATMAN
You are my greatest enemy.

JOKER
Because I killed your parents?

BATMAN
No.

Beat.

BATMAN
Because you are not funny.

The Joker gasps.

JOKER
Take that back.

Batman activates the Batcomputer.

It displays:
“JOKE RATING: 2/10.”

BATMAN
Justice has spoken.

The Joker falls to his knees.

JOKER
Society…

Police sirens approach.

ALFRED
Shall I clean up the hole in the cave, sir?

BATMAN
No.

Batman turns dramatically toward the waterfall.

BATMAN
Let it remind them.

ALFRED
Of what, sir?

BATMAN
That crime is wet.

CUT TO BLACK.